I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Randomize