He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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