He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
