the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
