I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
