it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
