You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
