haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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