It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
