four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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