guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
