Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
