weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize