I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
