can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
