I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
