I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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