so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i think i have herpe
just one?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
