Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
