is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
