trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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