I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
