If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
