I met the friendliest cop last night
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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