I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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