is your mom at the bar?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize