he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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