Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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