Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
