Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
