I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
