when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
