If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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