Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
