Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize