Dual....:-)
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
