i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize