Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
only if we run a train.
done.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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