I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
