The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize