You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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