This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
