you guys were way drunker than both of me
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
