Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm too high and old for this...
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
