I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
