i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
