1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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