ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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