I feel great
I just peed on a car
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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