i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
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Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
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I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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