That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
