is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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