we're blogging at a bar
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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