tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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