i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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