i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize