and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize