Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
