Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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