Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize