I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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